Episode 158 - Grief and the NFL Draft

After seeing so many posts about time healing all wounds this bast week and with the NFL draft taking place, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to talk about that dirty little for letter "T" word again... time.

Teams look to the NFL draft to make there teams better. Instead of waiting for their allotted pick to come and hoping that the player they may want to select will still be available the take action - they trade up to get to get him. This may cost them other pick in this draft or future drafts. It may ever\n cost them someone that is currently on t.he team.

Time heals all wounds is only half of the equation that's only true a third of the time - yes, that is Darwyn math. But is simplty means that time AND action begin the healing process. even then it may not work out as expected or planned.

I think people believe that time works the same with grief as it does with a cut or wound - the body has its own way of healing itself in this instance. Blood clots, a scab forms, and cells regenerate. we do very little except keep the wound clean.

Take action and give it time to work - it may not happen immediately and it may not turn out exactly the way you planned... but you should provide some benefit.

My episode on grief being like a scab can be found here:
The Scab (and Scars) Left by Grief

For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/

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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 131 - The Infancy Of Grief

Once again I have been plagued by the concept of time.

When I was 10 I began marking time since my father passed and in reflecting back on his death and having begun the process of processing my mother's loss, I realize that I won't do the same with her loss.

When dad died I didn't know what I didn't know about loss: I would have a child that would never know him, or that I would have certain experiences that I would not be able to share or get advice from him. Each year that passed simply marked another year that I was able to "grow" without him.

My mother's death was different.. I had her for 51 years. She taught me and gave me everything she could... really everything I needed. The only thing that we really had left was, well, time.

Time the spend together and do our favorite things, just to make more memories.

I think about time now and I have listened to Hootie and the Blowfish song 'Time'. I had never really given the lyrics much thought until my mother passed.

Here is a link to the song: Time - Hootie and the Blowfish

Song lyrics:

Time why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams

Time why you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying

Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow?
And all the pain and sorrow running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

Time I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red

Time hey, there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean
Maybe their mother won't cry tonight

Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free?
But tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in

Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine, I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time
And if I die tomorrow, just lay me down in sleep

Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time

Time you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare

Time the past has come and gone
The future's far away
And now only lasts for one second, one second

Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow, running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind

Walking, wasting
You ain't no friend of mine
And I don't know where I'm goin'
No don't know

[Incomprehensible] is just
Wasting, wasting, wasting time

Time why you punish me?

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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 127 - Finding Patience In Grief

I often have to remind myself that when implementing new strategies in my grief recovery process, I am actually making an investment that I must give time to work and produce results.

I must be patient and give these processes time to work. I must also realize that I may not always get the desired result. That's OK because I can always devise new strategies to help me get though the rough times when old processes stop working.

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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 113 - Grief Is Like a Fine Wine

My grandfather loved 3 things; dying eggs at Easter, making ice cream, and making wine. A few years ago I decided I would stasrt making wine using some of his recipes.

While my mother was here, I decided I'd start a batch of wine using one of his recipes with her help. It was a great time together. We shared fond memories of him while doing something that he loved to do!

Then as I often do, I started to ask myself. "How, if at all, does this relate to grief?"

Greif is like the empty bucked that we start out with in the wine making process. It's empty... lile we might be when we first lose someone, EMPTY inside. But we know that from that we'd like to end up with something that is as close to a "normal" life as possible. From that bucket we want to turn that emptiness into wine!

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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 47 - Grief and the Concept of Time

Time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds

As I think about how people plan to prioritize their time for the new year in the form of resolutions, I'm reminded by a listener that we can not do with time is heal our wounds caused by grief.

Healing from physical pain involves getting scabs that protect our wounds until the healing process is complete. Unfortunately when grieving, those scabs are reopened by our grief triggers, or things that people say or do... so the healing process is never really complete.

I also now question whether the amount of time we spent with our loved one affects the way we grieve. Let me know what you think.

Have a Happy New Year

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)