“I don’t think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that remains.”
This week marks the one year anniversary of my mothers death and as I have tried to figure out what I'm going to do on October 2 I am reminded of a question that comes up often in grief forums I belong to:
How do you mark the time since your loved one's passing?
For me, I don't... I can't - not if making the time means counting the days or the months since the day of their passing. That to me means that I have to actively think about and look forward to the next day or month and that never gives me time to move forward in my process. It makes me feel like I'k stuck in quicksand and the harder I fight to move forward, the more I get sucked in. I try to live life and just let the moments of grief happen, and deal with them as they come.
I will concede l, however, that I do remember the yearly anniversary of their death. That to me is like an internal clock that is a reminder leading up to the events of their death. A reminder that I've been able to deal with and hopefully grow just a little from the experience of having lost them.
I let grief come naturally with and try to process my emotions and just let the moment pass and do wht I think is appropriate. That could be a good cry or talking to others. Buty I can't intentionally go through the daily/monthly reminder of its been this many days or that many months.
Do you mark time after someone passes? If so, how?
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