Episode 82 - Grief and the B-Sides

While editing some images last wekk, I was listeing the CD "The B-Sides" by Prince.

To clarify, before there was streaming music services and befor CDs music was sold on vinyl as a 2 sided disc. When you purchase a hit single, it was on the A-side of the record and the B-side was usually the instrumental of that song or some song that was deemed unworthy to be included on the album or some song not related to the project at all.

Some B-side songs became more famous than the song that was intended to be the hit.

I believe in grief as in music we have a side that we don't want people to focus on or that we don't want to talk about. These things are in fact the most important things that we may need to discuss.

Famous B-side songs:

Beth by KISS - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHkojuUSDO8

We Will Rock You by Queen - https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=-tJYN-eG1zk

I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I

Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrK5u5W8afc

Green Onions by Booker T and the MG's - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9y-n9B_XUM

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 81 - Seniors, Baby Steps, and Grief

I had the opportunity to help move some furniture at an assisted living facility for senior citizens. There I met a gentleman who was trying to deal the challenge of just trying to walk a short distance.

What I leaned from him in the span of 10 minutes is something I should have learned a long time ago - sometimes small victories make all the difference in the world

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 80 - Turning 50 and Looking Back on Grief

As I turn 50 this week I have a lot to be thankful for...

  1. I'm half way to 100
  2. I decided that I need to live life despite what's happened to me
  3. I can be an inspiration to others

I think it's important to look back and figure out how to make adjustments to get through adversity. As I often do I take a look back at where I used to be emotionally and how I ended up here.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 79 - Setting Expectation Around Grief

This week I want to focus on a few pieces of feedback I received from listeners. One person wanted to know why I don't talk about spousal loss and another is dealing with people questioning being vocal about a loss that has happened a few years ago.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 78 - A Lake, Some Fish and Grief

I took a week away from the microphone to take a vacation and go fishing on Lake Ontario. While sitting on the lake I realized that being on the lake and trying to catch some salmon was a lot like life and my grief recovery process.

Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

 

22 lbs. king salmon caught on Lake Ontario outside of Oswego, NY

Episode 77 - Neo, The Matrix, and Grief

While looking at Youtube, I came across some clips of the Matrix. This got me thinking about how Neo's journey to find the truth about his existence mirrored somewhat my grief recovery process.

Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 76 - Check, Mate, and Grief... The Rest of the Story

In Episode 15, Games and Grief, I talked about how I found chess and it was a vehicle for keeping me out of trouble and hor really helping me center myself. However, I did not go into any great detail about how it really impacted my grief recovery process.

This week I reflect on the focus, patience, an the ability to re-evaluate the issues affecting my life and more importantlly my grief recovery process has taught me.

Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 75 - Bruce Lee and My Grief Recovery Process

This week marks the 44th anniversary of the passing of Bruce Lee. it wasn't until recently that discovered the Bruce lee podcast hosted by Shannon Lee and her friend Sharon Lee.

While I had heard of Bruce Lee's teachings as a martial artist, I soon discovered that his teachings really where about life itself. while his teachings and philosophy are really quite simple, I have a tendency to over complicate things... especially when dealing with grief.

Check out the Bruce Lee podcast - https://www.brucelee.com/podcast/

Bruce Lee "Be Water" quote - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJMwBwFj5nQ

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 74 - Cousins, Cats, and Grief

This week's episode is dedicated to the memory of my cousin Brian and my cat Cody who both passed away this week.

One of the ways that my cousin affected my life in a positive way was though the music he listened to. People in my neighborhood didn't listen to rock music, but my cousin did, and he didn't really care who know. This taught me that it was OK to be different.

My cat Cody reminded me that just like a cat, I might just have nine lives myself.

This week's call to action: Make sure to tell those around you how they have made a positive influence on your life. Don't wat untill they are gone to reflect on this.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 73 - Grief and the Reflection in the Mirror

A few weeks ago while attending a family get togeter of family members I hadn't seen in year, someone approached my and told me that I didn't look like my father anymore. This made me take a step back on what members of my family and my father's friends used to tell me, "You look just like your father!"

This week I examine exactly how this made or even still makes me feel.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 72 - Lean on Me... With Your Grief

There are many people who I have allowed to "lean on me." In other words, I've been willing to help them in any way that I could when they needed something. Eventually I needed to learn that it was OK to lean back.

Lean on me by Bill Withers

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 71 - Grief and My Extended Family

I've received a lot of feedback from people that see their family dynamic deteriorate after some type of loss. I am fortunate in that in times of need my family rally and around each other and be become stronger because of it.

I wish everyone could be so fortunate!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 70 - The Jealousy and Selfishness of Grief

As Father's Day approaches, I am confronted with the fact that I am forced to deal with the fact that I have to live without my loved ones... as opposed to grieving their loss. For this I used to sometimes get jealous.

Does this make me selfish?

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 69 - Books and Music and Grief, Oh My!

A few weeks ago, I aske d you to tell me what books you were reading and the music that you liked that helped you with your grief... and here are your responses!

Books
 The Bereaved Parent by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff
A Grief Observed by CS Lewis
The Long Goodbye: A Memoir by by Meghan O'Rourke
Blue Nights by Joan Didion
Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair By Anne Lamott

The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents by Alexander Levy

Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg
 

Music

Reflecting Light - Sam Phillips -  
To Where you are - Josh Groban
 Bob Dylan and Jimmy Hendrix
This Flight Tonight - Joni Mitchell
Not Even The Trees - Hootie and the Blowfish

Blogs:

Blogs: Mockingbirds at Midnight - Margaret Sloan

And even though I didn't ask, here are some other podcasts:

Grief Dreams
Dear Dougy Podcast
Griefcast
Where’s the Grief
Good Grief with Cheryl Jones
 

Thanks to all who provided feedback. If you'd like to add anything, please email me!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 68 - Grief and the Human Psyche

I am deathly afraid of heights. However, I needed to confront my fear while attending the Air Assault School at Ft. Campbell, KY.

During this course, you are required to complete not one but two "high" obstacles. I completed one, but was injured on the second.

I needed to convince myself that I could do something outside of my comfort zone. As a byproduct, I've learned that just because I've done something once doesn't me it'll be any easier the second time. but I can confront the anguish and anxiety that my mind feeds me to push through and achieve anything.

Confidence Climb YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCNhsbjX9Tk

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 67 - What I've Learned About Grief From Paying Bills

I hate paying bills... It's a repetitive process that is a necessary evil in life. If we fail deal with our monthly obligations, we suffer dire consequences and life becomes stressful.

Grief is a bill that we pay as a price for losing a loved one. We must deal with it as it comes... if we put it off, the pain and stress of not facing it could overwelm us.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 66 - Grief and Superheroes

This episode is dedicated to Marsha Cooke in the memory of Darwyn Cooke.

As I record this episode, it is the 1 year anniversary of Darwyn Cooke's death. for those who may not know, Darwyn was a Canadian comic book writer, artist, cartoonist, and animator. He drew covers for the Batman comic franchise, including working on a project that my son loved, Batman beyond in which Bruce Wayne turns the responsibility of being Batman to a teenage boy.

One of the reasons I like Batman is because our stories are similar... His parents are murdered while he is a young boy, but somehow he fights through all of that pain and decides to channel that pain into something positive - fighting crime.

The timing of this episode is important to me, because Darwyn's widow, Marsha, was the first person whom I didn't know that sent me a piece of feedback concerning the podcast.

I believe we all have an "inner grief superhero" inside of us, that is something that we have that can help others that are grieving.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 65 - Boys Don't Cry During Grief... Or Do They?

Is there really a "boys don't cry culture?"

I never saw my father cry, and when he died, I didn't see any other me display a lot of emotion either. But at the same time, no one told me I SHOULDN'T cry.

I think it may come down to two things:

1. Men and women are just wired differently. I watched an episode of "Brain Games"  - http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/brain-games/episodes/battle-of-the-sexes/

2. Some men are able to get in touch with there so called "feminine side"

Why does it appear that men have a problem showing/talking about their emotions?

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

 

Episode 64 - Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde and Grief

I completely lost it last week as I remembered the anniversary of my father's death. That got me to thinking about the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. and how I have many different emotional states that I sometimes can't manage to control.

NOTE - I just realized that I mention "her" in the podcast... That would be my mother. Sorry, Mom!!

Also let me know if there are any songs/books that help you read/listen to and how the help you in your grief recovery process. Thanks!!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 63 - 39 Years of Grief and Counting

I recorded this episode on Monday as I always do, and was alsoattempting to release this episode early. I normally release episodes on Wednesday. After recording his episode, however, I was so overcome with emotion that I wasn't able to edit it until today.

Monday was the 39th anniversary of my father's death. Since he also died on a Monday - April 24, 1978 and this episode was recorded on Monday, April 24, 2017 today was just much more emotional for me than I thought it would be.

R.I.P. Dad - I love you!

Thanks for listening and continuing to follow me on my journey!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com