Episode 157 - It's One Pinball Machine Of A Grief Anniversary

Today is the 41st anniversary of my father's murder. I hcan vividly remember everything that happened on this day back on April 24, 1978. Walking into the store and finding my father lying face down in a pool of his own blood.

The difference this year is that I have to face this one alone... mom is not hear for me to talk to. The force that used to calm me and help me somehow make sense of all of it in no longer with me; she is with my father.

For the first time in 41 years, they are finally together on what will be their 55 wedding anniversary on April 25, 2019

Mentally I feel like my emotions are like a steel ball in a pinball machine...they are all over the place. At least I can take solace in knowing that they are finally together again.

For more grief related resources, please visit: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 143 - The Three Year Anniversary Of Dealing With My Grief

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.

Mother Teresa

3 years ago I embarked on a journey inspired by two people:
One who inspired me to tell my story - this person still has no idea of this and Dave Jackson,from the School of Podcasting who introduced me to the medium through which to tell it.

At the time I just wanted to get some things off of my chest. Things that I had been carrying around at that time some 38 years. Just to be able to clear my head of some things that I will carry forever, some things that I won't be able to let go off... things I'll never be able to forget!

January 2016 was the beginning of feeding myself mentally from feelings I'd been suppressing for years but never trully talked about with anyone exept for an annual conversation I would openly have with my mother on the anniversary of my father's death. Other times I might have asked vailed questions about life that might have been derectly related to my father, parthly because I didn't want her to think that I was not doing will in the aftermath of his death, Maybe I just wanted to know that she was still thinking about him too.

What started as what some might call therapy sessions with myself changed in May or June of 2016 when I received and email from the widow of Darwin Cooke, a cartoonist and writer and illustrator for DC Comics. I had mentioned him in one of my episodes and she proceeded to tell me a little of how she was coping with her loss. That was validation that people where listening, and somehow my words and this podcast were resonating with people.

Istarted this show to feed one person... to inspire one person to keep moving forward - me. but it has turned into something greater than myself.

Thank you so much for listening and continuing on htis journey with me!

For grief related resources go to: http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/grief-resources/

Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Facebook - https://facebook.com/groups/dealingwithmygrief

Instagram - https://instagram.com/dealingwithmygrief

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 108 - 40 Years of Grief... Not Quite What I Expected

April 24, 2018 marks the 40th anniversary of my dad's death... April 25 would have been my parents 54th wedding anniversary.

I thought today would be a very painful one for me. But the words of a priest honoring someone else's loved one would touch me in ways that I couldn't imagine. His words took the sting out of the pain.

I decided to homer my dad by hosting a Facebook live event in the Grief Resilience group where people could talk on and speak about their loved one if only for a minute to honor them and keep there memories alive! It was a great time and an amazing space. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

While I do hurt, the sting from his loss  hurts a little less this year, all because of the king words of a pastor and the community of others who are grieving!

Dad, I love you and I miss you everyday.

Thanks to all those who reached out to me to checkl on my this month... it is greatly appreciated. And a special thanks to those who choose to share their own stories as a means of fighting through their grief and in some small way helping others.

I love you all.

 Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 95 - My Grief Podversary and A Conversation with my Mom

Two years ago I sat down and pressed record for the first time. I had no idea if anyone would listen and where this journey would take me. Many people thought this topic was either too sensitive to discuss or was just too much of a downer.

I could not be more pleased to prove the naysayers wrong. I found that many others where going through the same pain that I was and it was then that I thought about giving others a voice on this podcast. It started in Episode 55 with Joshua Black from the Grief Dreams podcast and will become a regular feature on this show.

I wanted to start this 3rd year with a conversation with the person who sacrificed all to make sure that I would be OK after my dad's death... my mom.

We had a great conversation... here is part of that sit down.

If you are so inclined to share your story of loss, please email me at darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 88 - The Miscommunication of Grief

This past week, one of the members in the Facebook group communicated that people still questions why she is still grieving a loss from 10 years ago.

I personally believe that certain societal queues tend to lead people to think that we are at certain points in our grief recovery process and we are OK in our grief.

This week's call to action: Let me know how you are going to incorporate your loved one's into your Thanksgiving celebration. Will you have a special meal, go to a certain place, etc/ :eave me a voice mail at http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 63 - 39 Years of Grief and Counting

I recorded this episode on Monday as I always do, and was alsoattempting to release this episode early. I normally release episodes on Wednesday. After recording his episode, however, I was so overcome with emotion that I wasn't able to edit it until today.

Monday was the 39th anniversary of my father's death. Since he also died on a Monday - April 24, 1978 and this episode was recorded on Monday, April 24, 2017 today was just much more emotional for me than I thought it would be.

R.I.P. Dad - I love you!

Thanks for listening and continuing to follow me on my journey!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com