Episode 46 - Grief and the Unanswered Question

Sometimes there just aren't good answers to our questions

Congrats to Sofia, Don and Paul - the winners of my contest giveaway. I'll be requesting your contact info shortly to send your gift cards.

I've been dealing with some personal issues lately that have kept me pretty preoccupied over the last couple of weeks. I've been so wrapped up and taken aback emotionally that I scrapped my original idea for this week just to get the past week off of my chest.

I struggle to find the answer to the question of why... Why do bad things happen to good people.

Have a great Christmas and happy holiday season!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 45 - Confronting Grief During The Holidays

The holidays can be as stressful as we make them.

Even though the holidays can be stressful enough on their own, adding the stress of grief can sometimes make it unbearable. There are a few approaches to dealing with the holidays while grieving

  1. Spend the holidays alone. Maybe dealing with the loss during the holidays is too painful.
  2. Incorporate your loved on in your holiday. Make their favorite food or do their activity.
  3. Start a new tradition if incorporating old traditions are to painful.

Whatever you do, communicate with people just to let know what you're doing for the holiday... and don't judge anyone's decision to do... or not do what you think they ought to do.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 44 -Grief and the Facade of Happiness During the Holiday Season

Looks can be deceiving when grieving during the holidays

I've been reminded by watching a co-worker recover from a cold that we don't always look the way that we feel. While she appears to be well, you can hear the fact that she is still recovering in her voice which hasn't fully recovered.

I feel the same way when it comes to grief - I look fine, but sometimes that masks the way I truly feel.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 43 - Experiencing Grief During the Holiday Sucks

One shouldn't have to bury a child... especially during the holidays

I have been going through a lot during the holiday season...

  1. Major eye surgery, from which I am on the road to recovery.
  2. I had a family member who was involved in a bus accident in Chattanooga, TN. They are also on the road to recovery
  3. I had a member of my Army family lose his teenage son in a freak accident.

I have rationalized why my father was taken from me as a means of making it easier to cope with his death. I can not, however, imagine having to bury my child. I don't think I could ever find an acceptableanswer to why this happens

This episode in dedicated to my brother in arms, Steve Hawks and the memory of his son, Ethan.

Hug someone during this holiday season and tell them that you love them... do it NOW, don't wait. Tomorrow isn't promised... but it should be if you're a kid.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 42 - Grieving at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving begins a 4-5 week period that may be difficult to navigate while grieving.

Thanksgivings to me wasn't really difficult to deal with after losing my father. Father's day was more traumatic. Father's Day is allabout dad and Thanksgiving is more about family. While I didn't have a father , I still had family.

Thanksgiving, and holidays in general became more difficult when I was deployed to the Middle East and not able to be with family.

This weeks call to action: find a we to make dealing with the loss of your loved one a little easier to deal with (if that's possible.) Be in the company of family or friends. If you need time by yourself, that's OK, too!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 41 - Can Early Losses Help Us Cope With Grief

Is it possible dealing with feelings of sadness at an early age help us in the grieving process?

Sometimes I think we try to protect children too much from mental any psychological pain. I think loosing at thing like sports may ultimately help with dealing with the loss of a loved one.

This week's call to action: Try to incorporate your loved on into you holiday season.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 40 - Comparing Grief and Elections

What can I learn about grief from the 2016 Presidential election?

This has been one of the nastiest Presidential campaign season on record.

Voters, like grievers have choices.

This week's call to action: Choose to do something to confront your grief.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 39 - Grief is like Microsoft Windows

What does grief and Microsoft Windows have in common?

If you have ever used Microsoft Windows or almost any application within Windows, you'll find a few similarities:

  • There are several ways to accomplish the same task
  • Sometimes things go awry when we are trying to move forward and accomplish certain goals

How can I determine which way is best for me to confront my grief and who do I pivot when I get stuck and can't seem to move forward.

This weeks call to action: Evaluate the different methods you have at your disposal to help you deal with grief, especially when you seem to be stuck in a place that doesn't allow you to continue your healing process.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 38 - Grief Isn't An Excuse

Grief isn't the reason I haven't achieved what I wanted to in life.

After lying in bed all weekend and watching Netflix, I have realized that I've used my father's death as the reason I haven't been able to achieve certain things in life or the reason why I've had to deal with certain things alone in my life.

I refuse to use his death as an excuse any longer. I can get through life's challenges in spite of the fact he is no longer here.

This weeks call to action: don't let grief be an excuse for you you can't seem to get through life's challenges.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 37 - Grief and Disney Movies

Life isn't a Disney movie, or is it?

his week's episode is a little shorter as I am dealing with a cold and I'm not feeling well.

This week I look back a t two Disney films; Bambi and the Lion King and how I used just focus on death and not the the entire story of lifed death and the rebirth that the main characthers in the movie had to face.

I also realizes that not every Disney film deals with these themes, and for non-grievers, that might be a Disney movie whose theme describes Your life story up to this point in your life.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 36 - Grief and the Disappearing Act

Why do friends "check out" during our grieving process?

This episode is inspired by a piece of feedback I received from a listener in response to last week's call to action to tell me something positive as a result of your grief.

Thanks so much for the kind words about the podcast it appreciated...

The listener stated that they have had a hard time getting support from their friends during the recent loss of 2 individuals in their life.

This week I tackle the subject of why friends may "disappear" during the grieving process. Maybe they don't kbnow how to support us or maybe they don't know how long we'll need support.

This weeks call to action: Be a better friend... or simply be a friend.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 35 - Finding Positivity in Grief

Does grief have a silver lining?

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Emmett Till.

I recently had the opportunity to visit the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, DC. It is an amazing museum that you must see if you ever visit the area. You'll need tickets to get in, but they are free.

Emmett Till was a 14 year old African-American boy who was killed for whistling at a white woman in a store in Money, Mississippi in August of 1955. He qwould be lynched fof this by her susband and his half-brother.

His mother found the courage to display his badly disfigured body during his funeral to show the world what racism had done to her son. This act led to the modern Civil Rights movement.

Mamie Till-Mobley's grief was the spark plug that forced America to deal with racism head-on.

I take a look at my own life and try to figuer out if there is anything positive that has come from my own grief.

This weeks call to action: Look back at your ow grief and determine if there is Something positive that you can take away from it.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 34 - Grief and Strength

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger

When I thing about the phrase, "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger", I can apply this to my life... literally!

After seeing my father's lifeless body in the store owned by my parents after his death, and wondering if things might be different if my mother and I would have stayed at the store for an additional 30-45 minutes, I use this as a source of strength in my life. Nothing will every be as bad as it was when he died. My mother had to come up with a Plan B.

 

I have learned to face new challenges and Plans B and sometimes C head on using my grief.

This weeks call to action:

My father died without a will. This made life harder for my mother necessary. See a lawyer, and prepare a will. If you can afford to do so, purchase life insurance so the ones you leave behind won't have to initially worry about finances when you're gone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 33 - Grief and Fear

I have become comfortable being uncomfortable.

Once my father died I lived in fear believing the men responsible for his death eventually would come for me. I let this fear permeate other aspects of my life until I learned to confront it and find ways to embrace it and move on.

This week's call to action: Link logically, sometimes emotions can cloud our judgement. Think things through before making decisions.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

 

Episode 32 - Grief and Spock

Sometimes I have to remove the emotions from the decision making process.

As we celebrate the 50th anniversary of the television show Star Trek, I am reminded that sometimes thinking like a half Vulcan, half Human is not necessarily a bad thing.

This week's call to action: Link logically, sometimes emotions can cloud our judgement. Think things through before making decisions.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

 

Episode 31 - Chronicling My Grief Journey

I wouldn't be who I am today without going through the pain that was losing my father. Starting this podcast only make me wish I had started capturing how I felt a lot earlier in life.

This week's call to action: Start chronicling your grief journey. Start a diary, blog or even your own podcast. Make a point to rered it later and discover if and how different you may be know.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

 

Episode 30 - Grieving Celebrities

Why am I saddened when certain celebrities die

I wasn't able to get to my Aunt Wanda's funeral... I simply spent too much money getting back and forth to St. Louis spending time with family before/after my uncle passed away, I'm just financially drained.

The focus of this week's show in dealing with the death of celebrities, more specifically the lives of 3 individuals - (Click their name for information about them):

  1. Darwyn Cooke
  2. Prince
  3. Muhammad Ali

In some way, big or small,  the lives of each of these individuals touched me in some way. Somehow they were able to resonate with something I was going through at some part of my life.

This week's call to action: We all have some type of struggle. Find a way to help someone through theirs. We are all in this together.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 29 - Grief Comes In Waves

Just when I started to recover emotionally from my uncle's death, I received more bad news.

After spending some time away and getting emotionally recharged, I received news that my aunt passed away. While her health had been back and forth for some time, I really didn't think that she would be gone so soon as she passed one day shy of her 74th birthday.

This episode is dedicated to my Aunt Wanda. I love you dearly! Rest in peace.

This week's call to action: spend more time with the elderly.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 28 - Grief and Hope

Sometimes making it through the day is difficult.

First, let me apologize for the tardiness of this post. I was on vacation with very little internet access. I pre-recorded the episode and the blog post was supposed to go up as the same time as the podcast episode but it did not.

Sometimes making it through the day is difficult. There's only one thing that gets me through.

Some days when I think about my father and most recently my uncle who passed away I think about and the many memories we shared and it's hard to imagine life without them.

Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to make it through the day, who is going to be there to give me guidance concerning whatever issues might come my way.

I'm then reminded of something my grandfather used to say to me... Any day you wake up and the sun is shining on your face is a good day!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 27 - Grief and Cartoon Characters

What I've learned about grief from Charlie Brown and Linus

First, let me apologize for the tardiness of this post. I was on vacation with very little internet access. I pre-recorded the episode and the blog post was supposed to go up as the same time as the podcast episode but it did not.

Recently I had the opportunity to watch the 'Peanuts Movioe' and reflect on the character of Charlie Brown - a guy who never seems to give up regardless of how many times things just don't work out. 

  • He never seems to be able to muster up the courage to talk to the red haired girl. In the Peanuts Movie, he does in fact talk to her, but in his efforts to impress her, things just don't seem to work out - book report he writes for her.
  • He is the captain of a baseball team that never wins a game. Yet he never misses a game himself.
  • Every time he flies a kite, it ends up in a tree.
  • Every time he tries to kick that football that Lucy is holding, she pulls it away from him at the last minute.

    Why doesn't he just quit?

Two reasons... he has hope, and a friend named Linus!

This week's call to action - Be someone's Linus. If you know someone who needs a word of encouragement or a helping hand, give it to them without them asking

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)