Is it possible that losing my father was not the worse thing that could have happened to me?
Growing up, I had friends whose parents weren't together. Many of them carried the burden of thinking that their parents weren't together because of something that they had done. In other words, it was their fault that their parents weren't together.
I had one friend who would wait for his father to come pick him up when it was his father's weekend for custody, and his father inevitably would be a no-show! He would often wonder what he did to cause his father not to want to be with him.
While grieving my father's death, I take some comfort in knowing that the reason he isn't present is not by choice, but the actions of the men who took his life. I don't have the emotional scars that my friends have.
In some ways I think that would be a lot worse emotionally.
This is one of the ways I cope with my grief.