Episode 90 - Finding Forgiveness In Grief

After scrolling through the Facebook group and attending a podcasting conference. I was forced to reflect on the aspect of forgiving someone who has committed the most horrible act imaginable - killing my father.

I was filled with every emotion possible for the first few years after my father's death... hate, anger, revenge, etc. But at some point I realized that I had to do one thing to begin letting go of these feelings that I had. I had to forgive that person that killed my father.

How was this even possible when he never expressed remorse for what he had done.

Other related podcast I discovered in the past week:

Good Grief Podcast - http://www.goodgriefpodcast.com/episodes/

Is this Adulting? (More about mental health than grief, but very beneficial) - http://www.goodgriefpodcast.com/episodes/

This week's call to action: LAs you prepare for Thanksgiving here in the states, continue to think about how to incoporate your loved on into the holiday. Leave me a voicemail at http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 89 - The Mathematics of Grief

Math was always my favorite subject in school. My first memories of my father are of him teaching me to count money. I quickly learned my multiplication tables this way as well.

The subject has come easy for me ever since, I took some form of math every year in school - including college! Why it is not a grief trigger for me I don't know.

There are some things, however, that that remind me of my grief recovery process: repeating decimals and pi just to name a few.

I have to focus on a journey that seemingly will never end and try somehow to king implementing my coping skills at life's every turn.

This week's call to action: Let me know how you are going to incorporate your loved one's into your Thanksgiving celebration. Will you have a special meal, go to a certain place, etc/ :eave me a voice mail at http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 88 - The Miscommunication of Grief

This past week, one of the members in the Facebook group communicated that people still questions why she is still grieving a loss from 10 years ago.

I personally believe that certain societal queues tend to lead people to think that we are at certain points in our grief recovery process and we are OK in our grief.

This week's call to action: Let me know how you are going to incorporate your loved one's into your Thanksgiving celebration. Will you have a special meal, go to a certain place, etc/ :eave me a voice mail at http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 87 - Grief and the Bigger Picture

After being cut off by a car on my way home, I asked myself why didn't the driver notice that there was no one behind me. was he focused just on my car and didn't notice that in the "big picture" it would have been safer to wait for me to pass because there was no one behind me.

When it comes to grief the big picture involves opening our hearts, to other to let them into our world... the help facilitate the healing process.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 86- Are Grief and Using the Bathroom Really Related?

As I sat in my office last week trying to meed a deadline, I had to yes the bathroom. The only problem was I needed to complete a though before I went and I didn;d know if I could hold it long enough!

This got me to thinking... could using bathroom actually be related to my grief recovery process? Believe it or not, it is!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 85 - Grief and the Things Our Loved Ones Say or Do

As I think about the heirlooms left to my by my loved ones, I started reflecting on the final time that I saw them or spent a considerable amount of time with them.

This week I ask two questions:

  1. Do some people know that their time on this earth is coming to an end? And...
  2. What would you differently if you knew that this would in fact be the last time you saw or spoke to your loved one?

I'm curious to know your answer... send me an email at darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 84 - Heirlooms and Their Effect on Grief

I recently wore a watch that was left to me by my uncle. Wearing it made me feel closer to him... and it really made me happy. Here I reflect on things left to me be relatives.

Do you have any heirlooms left to you, and if so do you incorporate them in any way in your daily life?

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 83 - Grief and Running

I am often asked how long did it take me to "get over" my father's death.

The short answer is I haven't and I won't... at least not completely. In this episode I use my time in the army and the activity of running to explain why.

Now if I could just beat this cold!!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 82 - Grief and the B-Sides

While editing some images last wekk, I was listeing the CD "The B-Sides" by Prince.

To clarify, before there was streaming music services and befor CDs music was sold on vinyl as a 2 sided disc. When you purchase a hit single, it was on the A-side of the record and the B-side was usually the instrumental of that song or some song that was deemed unworthy to be included on the album or some song not related to the project at all.

Some B-side songs became more famous than the song that was intended to be the hit.

I believe in grief as in music we have a side that we don't want people to focus on or that we don't want to talk about. These things are in fact the most important things that we may need to discuss.

Famous B-side songs:

Beth by KISS - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHkojuUSDO8

We Will Rock You by Queen - https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=-tJYN-eG1zk

I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I

Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrK5u5W8afc

Green Onions by Booker T and the MG's - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9y-n9B_XUM

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 81 - Seniors, Baby Steps, and Grief

I had the opportunity to help move some furniture at an assisted living facility for senior citizens. There I met a gentleman who was trying to deal the challenge of just trying to walk a short distance.

What I leaned from him in the span of 10 minutes is something I should have learned a long time ago - sometimes small victories make all the difference in the world

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 80 - Turning 50 and Looking Back on Grief

As I turn 50 this week I have a lot to be thankful for...

  1. I'm half way to 100
  2. I decided that I need to live life despite what's happened to me
  3. I can be an inspiration to others

I think it's important to look back and figure out how to make adjustments to get through adversity. As I often do I take a look back at where I used to be emotionally and how I ended up here.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 79 - Setting Expectation Around Grief

This week I want to focus on a few pieces of feedback I received from listeners. One person wanted to know why I don't talk about spousal loss and another is dealing with people questioning being vocal about a loss that has happened a few years ago.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 78 - A Lake, Some Fish and Grief

I took a week away from the microphone to take a vacation and go fishing on Lake Ontario. While sitting on the lake I realized that being on the lake and trying to catch some salmon was a lot like life and my grief recovery process.

Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

 

22 lbs. king salmon caught on Lake Ontario outside of Oswego, NY

Episode 77 - Neo, The Matrix, and Grief

While looking at Youtube, I came across some clips of the Matrix. This got me thinking about how Neo's journey to find the truth about his existence mirrored somewhat my grief recovery process.

Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 76 - Check, Mate, and Grief... The Rest of the Story

In Episode 15, Games and Grief, I talked about how I found chess and it was a vehicle for keeping me out of trouble and hor really helping me center myself. However, I did not go into any great detail about how it really impacted my grief recovery process.

This week I reflect on the focus, patience, an the ability to re-evaluate the issues affecting my life and more importantlly my grief recovery process has taught me.

Please share this podcast with anyone who is suffering through some type of loss... I just want them to know they are not alone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 75 - Bruce Lee and My Grief Recovery Process

This week marks the 44th anniversary of the passing of Bruce Lee. it wasn't until recently that discovered the Bruce lee podcast hosted by Shannon Lee and her friend Sharon Lee.

While I had heard of Bruce Lee's teachings as a martial artist, I soon discovered that his teachings really where about life itself. while his teachings and philosophy are really quite simple, I have a tendency to over complicate things... especially when dealing with grief.

Check out the Bruce Lee podcast - https://www.brucelee.com/podcast/

Bruce Lee "Be Water" quote - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJMwBwFj5nQ

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 74 - Cousins, Cats, and Grief

This week's episode is dedicated to the memory of my cousin Brian and my cat Cody who both passed away this week.

One of the ways that my cousin affected my life in a positive way was though the music he listened to. People in my neighborhood didn't listen to rock music, but my cousin did, and he didn't really care who know. This taught me that it was OK to be different.

My cat Cody reminded me that just like a cat, I might just have nine lives myself.

This week's call to action: Make sure to tell those around you how they have made a positive influence on your life. Don't wat untill they are gone to reflect on this.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 73 - Grief and the Reflection in the Mirror

A few weeks ago while attending a family get togeter of family members I hadn't seen in year, someone approached my and told me that I didn't look like my father anymore. This made me take a step back on what members of my family and my father's friends used to tell me, "You look just like your father!"

This week I examine exactly how this made or even still makes me feel.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 72 - Lean on Me... With Your Grief

There are many people who I have allowed to "lean on me." In other words, I've been willing to help them in any way that I could when they needed something. Eventually I needed to learn that it was OK to lean back.

Lean on me by Bill Withers

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com

Episode 71 - Grief and My Extended Family

I've received a lot of feedback from people that see their family dynamic deteriorate after some type of loss. I am fortunate in that in times of need my family rally and around each other and be become stronger because of it.

I wish everyone could be so fortunate!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

voice message - http://www.dealingwithmygrief.com/voicemail

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com