Episode 50 - The One Year Anniversary of Dealing With My Grief

What have I learned about my grief journey during the first year of this show?

WOW... It's been a year since I launched the podcast. I didn't know what I would talk about from week to week. I only knew that I had a lot of emotions that were bottled up inside and that I needed a release, and podcasting was my platform of choice.

I am grateful to everyone who has listened to any episode of this show and even more so to those that have listened to every episode.

For me the thing that I have learned is that grief imitates life... or is that the other way around.

Thanks for taking the time to listen to my show during your busy schedule, and if you think this show might resonate with others, please tell them about it!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Facebook: Dealing with My Grief

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 49 - Social Media and Grief

 

Not everything needs to go on social media immediately!

After much deliberation, I've created a Facebook group - Click here to join.

I want the group to be a place where we can openly share what;s on our minds and how we feel/cope with our loss and the emotions surrounding them.

Speaking of social media, this week I discuss how I found out about my aunt's passing. Normally, I would receive a phone call, typically from my mother.

That didn't happen this time! I found out from a post on Facebook, about an hour after her passing.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Facebook: Dealing with My Grief

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 48 - My Resolution for Coping With Grief

I choose not let grief control my life.

Happy New year

Many are making resolutions - usually something to change their life in a positive manner - to stop smoking or drinking, to diet, or to get out to the gym.

Sometimes these resolutions fail because we choose to do something else with our time, or because of a lack of willpower.

I made a resolution a long time ago not to let my father's death control my life, When I it a tough patch in life, I think about positive traits my dad possessed and try to figure out how I can appy those to my life.

This weeks call to action: Think of a trait your loved one had and figure out how that has/can be positively applied to your life.

Again, Happy New Year! Let's make it a great one.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 47 - Grief and the Concept of Time

Time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds

As I think about how people plan to prioritize their time for the new year in the form of resolutions, I'm reminded by a listener that we can not do with time is heal our wounds caused by grief.

Healing from physical pain involves getting scabs that protect our wounds until the healing process is complete. Unfortunately when grieving, those scabs are reopened by our grief triggers, or things that people say or do... so the healing process is never really complete.

I also now question whether the amount of time we spent with our loved one affects the way we grieve. Let me know what you think.

Have a Happy New Year

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 46 - Grief and the Unanswered Question

Sometimes there just aren't good answers to our questions

Congrats to Sofia, Don and Paul - the winners of my contest giveaway. I'll be requesting your contact info shortly to send your gift cards.

I've been dealing with some personal issues lately that have kept me pretty preoccupied over the last couple of weeks. I've been so wrapped up and taken aback emotionally that I scrapped my original idea for this week just to get the past week off of my chest.

I struggle to find the answer to the question of why... Why do bad things happen to good people.

Have a great Christmas and happy holiday season!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 45 - Confronting Grief During The Holidays

The holidays can be as stressful as we make them.

Even though the holidays can be stressful enough on their own, adding the stress of grief can sometimes make it unbearable. There are a few approaches to dealing with the holidays while grieving

  1. Spend the holidays alone. Maybe dealing with the loss during the holidays is too painful.
  2. Incorporate your loved on in your holiday. Make their favorite food or do their activity.
  3. Start a new tradition if incorporating old traditions are to painful.

Whatever you do, communicate with people just to let know what you're doing for the holiday... and don't judge anyone's decision to do... or not do what you think they ought to do.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 44 -Grief and the Facade of Happiness During the Holiday Season

Looks can be deceiving when grieving during the holidays

I've been reminded by watching a co-worker recover from a cold that we don't always look the way that we feel. While she appears to be well, you can hear the fact that she is still recovering in her voice which hasn't fully recovered.

I feel the same way when it comes to grief - I look fine, but sometimes that masks the way I truly feel.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 43 - Experiencing Grief During the Holiday Sucks

One shouldn't have to bury a child... especially during the holidays

I have been going through a lot during the holiday season...

  1. Major eye surgery, from which I am on the road to recovery.
  2. I had a family member who was involved in a bus accident in Chattanooga, TN. They are also on the road to recovery
  3. I had a member of my Army family lose his teenage son in a freak accident.

I have rationalized why my father was taken from me as a means of making it easier to cope with his death. I can not, however, imagine having to bury my child. I don't think I could ever find an acceptableanswer to why this happens

This episode in dedicated to my brother in arms, Steve Hawks and the memory of his son, Ethan.

Hug someone during this holiday season and tell them that you love them... do it NOW, don't wait. Tomorrow isn't promised... but it should be if you're a kid.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 42 - Grieving at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving begins a 4-5 week period that may be difficult to navigate while grieving.

Thanksgivings to me wasn't really difficult to deal with after losing my father. Father's day was more traumatic. Father's Day is allabout dad and Thanksgiving is more about family. While I didn't have a father , I still had family.

Thanksgiving, and holidays in general became more difficult when I was deployed to the Middle East and not able to be with family.

This weeks call to action: find a we to make dealing with the loss of your loved one a little easier to deal with (if that's possible.) Be in the company of family or friends. If you need time by yourself, that's OK, too!

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 41 - Can Early Losses Help Us Cope With Grief

Is it possible dealing with feelings of sadness at an early age help us in the grieving process?

Sometimes I think we try to protect children too much from mental any psychological pain. I think loosing at thing like sports may ultimately help with dealing with the loss of a loved one.

This week's call to action: Try to incorporate your loved on into you holiday season.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 40 - Comparing Grief and Elections

What can I learn about grief from the 2016 Presidential election?

This has been one of the nastiest Presidential campaign season on record.

Voters, like grievers have choices.

This week's call to action: Choose to do something to confront your grief.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 39 - Grief is like Microsoft Windows

What does grief and Microsoft Windows have in common?

If you have ever used Microsoft Windows or almost any application within Windows, you'll find a few similarities:

  • There are several ways to accomplish the same task
  • Sometimes things go awry when we are trying to move forward and accomplish certain goals

How can I determine which way is best for me to confront my grief and who do I pivot when I get stuck and can't seem to move forward.

This weeks call to action: Evaluate the different methods you have at your disposal to help you deal with grief, especially when you seem to be stuck in a place that doesn't allow you to continue your healing process.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 38 - Grief Isn't An Excuse

Grief isn't the reason I haven't achieved what I wanted to in life.

After lying in bed all weekend and watching Netflix, I have realized that I've used my father's death as the reason I haven't been able to achieve certain things in life or the reason why I've had to deal with certain things alone in my life.

I refuse to use his death as an excuse any longer. I can get through life's challenges in spite of the fact he is no longer here.

This weeks call to action: don't let grief be an excuse for you you can't seem to get through life's challenges.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 37 - Grief and Disney Movies

Life isn't a Disney movie, or is it?

his week's episode is a little shorter as I am dealing with a cold and I'm not feeling well.

This week I look back a t two Disney films; Bambi and the Lion King and how I used just focus on death and not the the entire story of lifed death and the rebirth that the main characthers in the movie had to face.

I also realizes that not every Disney film deals with these themes, and for non-grievers, that might be a Disney movie whose theme describes Your life story up to this point in your life.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 36 - Grief and the Disappearing Act

Why do friends "check out" during our grieving process?

This episode is inspired by a piece of feedback I received from a listener in response to last week's call to action to tell me something positive as a result of your grief.

Thanks so much for the kind words about the podcast it appreciated...

The listener stated that they have had a hard time getting support from their friends during the recent loss of 2 individuals in their life.

This week I tackle the subject of why friends may "disappear" during the grieving process. Maybe they don't kbnow how to support us or maybe they don't know how long we'll need support.

This weeks call to action: Be a better friend... or simply be a friend.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com

twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief

web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

 

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 35 - Finding Positivity in Grief

Does grief have a silver lining?

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Emmett Till.

I recently had the opportunity to visit the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, DC. It is an amazing museum that you must see if you ever visit the area. You'll need tickets to get in, but they are free.

Emmett Till was a 14 year old African-American boy who was killed for whistling at a white woman in a store in Money, Mississippi in August of 1955. He qwould be lynched fof this by her susband and his half-brother.

His mother found the courage to display his badly disfigured body during his funeral to show the world what racism had done to her son. This act led to the modern Civil Rights movement.

Mamie Till-Mobley's grief was the spark plug that forced America to deal with racism head-on.

I take a look at my own life and try to figuer out if there is anything positive that has come from my own grief.

This weeks call to action: Look back at your ow grief and determine if there is Something positive that you can take away from it.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 34 - Grief and Strength

That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger

When I thing about the phrase, "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger", I can apply this to my life... literally!

After seeing my father's lifeless body in the store owned by my parents after his death, and wondering if things might be different if my mother and I would have stayed at the store for an additional 30-45 minutes, I use this as a source of strength in my life. Nothing will every be as bad as it was when he died. My mother had to come up with a Plan B.

 

I have learned to face new challenges and Plans B and sometimes C head on using my grief.

This weeks call to action:

My father died without a will. This made life harder for my mother necessary. See a lawyer, and prepare a will. If you can afford to do so, purchase life insurance so the ones you leave behind won't have to initially worry about finances when you're gone.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

Episode 33 - Grief and Fear

I have become comfortable being uncomfortable.

Once my father died I lived in fear believing the men responsible for his death eventually would come for me. I let this fear permeate other aspects of my life until I learned to confront it and find ways to embrace it and move on.

This week's call to action: Link logically, sometimes emotions can cloud our judgement. Think things through before making decisions.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

 

Episode 32 - Grief and Spock

Sometimes I have to remove the emotions from the decision making process.

As we celebrate the 50th anniversary of the television show Star Trek, I am reminded that sometimes thinking like a half Vulcan, half Human is not necessarily a bad thing.

This week's call to action: Link logically, sometimes emotions can cloud our judgement. Think things through before making decisions.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)

 

Episode 31 - Chronicling My Grief Journey

I wouldn't be who I am today without going through the pain that was losing my father. Starting this podcast only make me wish I had started capturing how I felt a lot earlier in life.

This week's call to action: Start chronicling your grief journey. Start a diary, blog or even your own podcast. Make a point to rered it later and discover if and how different you may be know.

Contact me using any of following:

email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
twitter - http://www.twitter.com/dealwithgrief
web - http:// www.dealingwithmygrief.com

Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)